Mel’s Window: “Seasons of the Mind”
Photo by Mel Cole
Technically, we’re still in the dead of winter, but it feels more like spring here in Central Texas. Not entirely too weird for the Austin area to experience a random shift in weather patterns — but this current stretch feels exceptionally off to me.
And honestly… life feels off too.
Life is heavy AF.
As a society, a country, a collective — the grief and injustice cuts deep and it hurts.
Recently, I had to come to terms with something I never thought I’d say: this is what depression feels like.
Decades ago, a marriage therapist once explained what it’s like to live with depression. My husband lives with manic depression, and she told me to imagine having the flu — and trying to function, show up, even get out of bed. At the time, I realized I had never personally felt that kind of weight.
Now anxiety? That’s an entirely different story for me.
But this… this feels different.
We are a neurospicy family of five. Here are the diagnoses that live in our home:
ADHD
Autism Spectrum Disorder
Social Anxiety
Generalized Anxiety
Manic Depression
Mental health isn’t just something we talk about — it’s something we live.
And I am deeply passionate about it. This journey has taught me empathy in ways I never could have learned otherwise. It has taught me to look at people differently — to pause before judging, to understand those who are often misunderstood.
Right now, I’m surviving — not thriving.
And I’m not very good at “not thriving.”
But I have to be 100% honest with myself and my body. I have to learn to sit in this space for a bit instead of fighting it.
These are the days I open my toolbox and look at ALL the tools I’ve gathered over the years. And damn — I’m so grateful I have so many. I’m always learning new ones, too. That will be a separate post for another day, because I would truly love to know: what are your favorite mental health tools for the seasons when you’re surviving and not thriving?
Today, I turned to meditation, light yoga, and poetry — hopeful to regain some light.
It always works.
And so I’ll leave you with one of my favorites…
The Guest House - Rumi
This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.
A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
As an unexpected visitor.
Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they're a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.
The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing,
and invite them in.
Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.
-Rumi
Today, I’m learning to welcome the guest instead of pushing it out the door.
